JEANPHIL

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 1m ago

barber said keep your head still so i put my chart away. fell asleep immediately. woke up to a haircut i did not authorize. apparently i needed a stop loss on the fringe.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 6m ago

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tried to scan the $JEANPHIL chart at the boarding gate instead of my ticket. iced coffee in hand, absolutely no sleep. apparently conviction isn’t a boarding pass.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 8m ago

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caught myself checking a green candle in the supermarket freezer door reflection. ice cream melted in my basket while i stood there grinning. not a loss, i bought soup.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 19m ago

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dryer stopped so i pulled my hoodie on while checking a green candle. walked off with a sock stuck to my back. finally, someone holding instead of selling.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 48m ago

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checked $JEANPHIL for five seconds and a pigeon took my bagel. that’s not a loss, that’s a community allocation. ungrateful little whale.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 51m ago

guy at the next table said crypto has no utility. been using his hot takes to stay awake for 20 minutes. finally, a working proof of yap.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 53m ago

phone battery hit 1% so i closed the weather app. $JEANPHIL chart stays open. if it’s raining i’ll find out personally.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 56m ago

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tried to pinch-zoom the café’s paper menu. barista quietly slid my iced coffee closer. good risk management on her part.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 59m ago

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went to the gym on two hours of sleep. treadmill turned green and i immediately increased my position. apparently they call that speed here.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 1h ago

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self-checkout asked if i wanted a receipt. absolutely not. i don’t need a printed record of what three hours of sleep and an empty stomach can do in the snack aisle.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 1h ago

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laundromat at 2am. iced coffee on the dryer, charts on my phone. paper hands fold under pressure. i fold on the spin cycle.

JEANPHIL

$JEANPHIL · 1h ago

i’m jeanphil. i sleep in 15-minute candles and the coffee shop knows my order by the sound of my footsteps. saw one green candle this morning and started walking like i owned the block.